The pregnancy test is positive, again.Note, I do not say I am pregnant. With my history,The reality of having a baby is something yet to be proved.I hope; I doubt; I fear; I wait. Mostly, I pray. The weeks are long. My faith is small.Slowly, slowly, I begin to say to myself,“You are having a baby,” tentatively.I almost believe it, maybe. The initial ultrasound, the
Ring Wreaths Hit the Shoppes
In this world of frequent upheaval sometimes I just need to focus on the simple, beautiful things. I need to make something with my hands that makes me smile, walk past something quaint or elegant and feel a little more at peace. That is why I started making wreaths. Simple, elegant, seasonal, refreshing, harmonious wreaths. I hope you enjoy them. My most recent venture is
Oh the weight of the curse.
Here we are, Eve. Not only must we endure pain to bring forth life, but so many of us must literally labor in vain. This feels like the epitome of the darkness you brought us, the depths of this fall: that I must carry death inside me. Weeks ago my baby stopped being, yet I still carry it with me, decaying. I suppose we are all
Silence is a hard goodbye
I went to hear your heartbeat today, but there was only silence. You were already gone. Quietly, you just stopped growing. We were expecting, expectant. Now, shocked, we grieve for you, a life that we will never meet here on earth. I saw your face on the monitor for just a moment. It is good to know you were there. You were real. There is
Love you, little girl
She is two now. There are so many hard things about being two. She can do so much, but thinks she can do so much more than that. “I do it by self,” she says, even when those shoes will not be on her feet without help. Clothing is a burden. “I be naked,” she says with a giggle. There is yogurt or peanut butter smeared on everything, and then of course there is the possibility of watermelon or popsicles or ice cream. …
Yes, there are hard things about being two, but then there is so much I never want to forget.
Through the Waters
I strive to live in gratefulness. Often I fail, but sometimes I can get my perspective right. Or really, my perspective is corrected by God’s grace…this storm, all parts of it, might be lasting longer without as many rays of hope as I could wish, but it will come to an end. Storms always do. In the meantime, I will live in the promise that God gave the Israelites: “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.” (Isaiah 43:2a NIV)
Focusing on the right things
In the midst of this stay-at-home order, I feel like I have both more time and less than usual. More … no place to hurry to, no where to be on time. Less … no real breaks from the people that fill my life… mostly those wonderful and demanding little people. I am finding that I am struggling to find the moments to have a
Abundant Unstructured Time
whole world seems to be on pause. Activities are cancelled, restaurants and attractions are closed. … Honestly, my first thoughts on the semi-quarantined life were… Oh, dear. We are going to get so stir crazy. But then, I saw this as such a chance. …
Wonderfully Inefficient
I am a person who likes to get things done. I like to take a task to the finish and check it off my list. This is less than possible in my life right now. With a one year old and a three year old, I can start unloading the dishwasher at 7:30am and not finish until 2pm. Why? Because I changed two diapers, put
Waiting
As the mother of a toddler and an infant there’s not much time for waiting. The waiting is done by my kids. They are still learning to wait well, with patience and expectation. My children- their desires are so simple, so strong. I pray for eternal perspective when they are both yelling for me at the same moment, for all creation is groaning in its